"Angel" by Sarah McLachlin

My Rainbow Angel
This is Morgan. She was my 'first-born'!! She made her journey to the Bridge on May 5, 1999. She was 15 yrs old.
When I first saw Morgan, she was a tiny 4-6 week old wild kitten that had been captured and brought to me by a friend, while we were visiting in a town called Morgan Hill. After chasing this kitty for about 15 minutes, she brought her to me and said 'Shirley, you look like a cat person to me, and this little kitty needs a mommy!! Here!' And she handed me this little motley ball of fur!! I took one look at that tiny little face, and knew that I was, indeed, her new mommy!!
Once I had decided to keep this little one, I knew it was up to me to name her!! She was too young for me to determine if she was male or female at the time, and since we were in a town called Morgan Hill, and Morgan can be a name for either sex, in my eyes the only logical name for her was ..... Morgan!!
She grew from a little ball of fur into a beautiful girl, as you can see from her picture!! When she was about 2, she met the love of her life during one of her 'romantic times'! At her insistence, Studley became a part of our family!! (I believe in keeping cats indoors at all times, and Studley gladly gave up his freedom to live with us!!) After the litter of kittens they had when they first met, which I successfully adopted out to loving homes, I decided they both should take a little trip to the vet's, to ensure there would be no more litters! For many years after that they lived as a happy couple. They were inseparable, playing together, grooming each other, sleeping curled up together, having mock kitty fights to spice up the dull times, and generally being each other's best friend!!
Eventually, after about 7 yrs, we adopted another kitty who was about 3-4 months old, and her human mommy (a friend of mine), could no longer keep her. Her name is Zepplin Rose, but has since, for some inexplicable reason, been shortened to Doodle!! At first Morgan and Studley were very hostile towards her, but, over time, they opened their hearts to her, and she became such a part of the family you would think she was their own!! We dubbed them the 'Three Musketeers'!!
Morgan was, as I found out just recently, a Tortico, which is part tortoise shell and part calico! She was loving, independent, and for a kitty, very clumsy!! She once took a running leap onto the second story balcony railing, miscalculated, and went flying over the edge to the paved driveway below!! I was terrified that she was seriously injured or worse, and flew to the apartment door, to run down and see if she was all right, with pictures of a limp little kitty laying in the driveway pounding in my head. As I opened the door to fly down to her rescue, I almost lost my balance and fell myself, as this little ball of fur sped past my feet the second I opened the door!! Not only was she just fine, but she had beat me to the door from downstairs!! And she would always fall asleep on the edge of a couch or chair or ottoman, and roll over in her sleep, and fall off the edge!! At this point, she would immediately look to the closest human, and look accusingly at them, as if to say 'What the heck did you do that for??' as if someone had pushed her!! I guess she was in denial about her clumsiness!!
Another endearing quality she had was that when she walked, she looked like she had ('scuse the expression!) a stick up her butt!! She had always walked like this, from a tiny kitty, until the day she went to the Bridge!! When she walked, her back legs were always sort of stiff, and she walked with her little butt up in the air, and I'm swearing to you, that everyone that ever saw her walk would make a comment on it, and tell me that it looked like she was walking with a stick up her butt!!
She was a very playful girl her whole life, she never lost that 'kitten attitude'!! She was always chasing some imaginary something, and leaping up, running up walls and back and forth thru the house like Mario Andretti!! She was frequently dubbed 'Speed Racer', as she tore thru the house in a blur!! One of her favorite toys, (she shunned the mundane 'kitty toys' so abundant in the local pet stores!), was the plastic 'pull-ring' from the gallon containers of milk!! She would pull them out of the trash (not disturbing anything else!), and play with them constantly!! She would pick them up with her paw, and pitch them into the air, then chase them down and bat at them, and jump, literally, straight up in the air, do a 180 degree turn, and pounce on them as she landed!! She looked like a great big furry flea the way she would spring up and down!! Then after a while, she would 'call' for the others to come and play with her, using this awful yowl, but the others were never really interested, and would ignore her howling, and after a few seconds, she would give up and go back to playing by herself!! She could amuse herself this way for quite a while, before she would finally tire of it, and move on to play with another kitty, or take a little cat nap!!
Morgan was very healthy her whole life. She loved to eat, and did so at any given opportunity!! I've always had to put just a little food down for each kitty (as much as they would eat at one time), or Morgan would just start eating everything in sight, sometimes until she up-chucked!! (The other cats were never very fond of this idea, but learned to adapt for her sake!) Morgan's fur was always soft and shiny, and she was always sort of 'round' due to her love of food, so I always called her 'my softest, fluffiest kitty'!!
Because they are indoors-only cats, we've never had a problem with fleas or ticks or injuries from fights or cars, and as a result they are very healthy!! This is probably why it came as such a shock to me when she got sick. About the middle of April of this year, Morgan gradually lost interest in eating. But, at first, I didn't think much of it, as often in springtime, for some reason beyond my comprehension, their appetites would decrease a little. But, when I noticed that the other's appetites seemed the same, I started to get worried. Under normal conditions, as I mentioned, eating was one of her favorite things to do!! When, after about a week or so, her appetite still hadn't improved, and she started to seem listless, and wasn't taking any interest in playing , as I mentioned - her second favorite thing to do, I decided that a trip to the vet was in order. So, in the last week of April, I took her to the vet, to find out what was wrong. The vet said that they needed to run tests, and would have to keep her overnight. Now I was starting to get really worried!! Until now, I had thought she just had something minor that could be easily fixed since she had alway been sooo healthy!! So, I left her there with an encouraging smile on my face for her, and trepidation in my heart.
When I went back the next day, I received the bad news. Morgan had a mass in her liver, and due to that, had developed what they call a 'fatty liver', which causes dental decay. When I looked at her, to my horror and great sadness, she was already looking jaundiced, and had lost most of her teeth. As I tried to be brave and not cry, I asked the vet what her prognosis was. She informed me that they needed to do a biopsy of the mass in her liver to determine if it was cancer or not. At the mention of cancer, I could no longer put on my brave front, and I started to cry. I thought to myself, 'If they can not even cure it in humans, what chance could a little kitty have??' The vet said there was a chance that it was not cancer, but that it didn't look good. I agreed to the biopsy, in the wild hope that the mass was not cancer. I left my little girl there again, and called the next day as instructed by the vet. When I called the next day, I was informed that my worst fear had been confirmed. It was cancer. And now, there were more options to consider. They had placed a tube in her neck to feed her, as she could no longer eat on her own. They wanted to know if I wanted to try chemotherapy. I wanted to know how much longer that would give her if she received the treatments. The vet told me maybe 2-3 months!! My heart was breaking, and I was trying to think what I should do. The vet said that she was currently being given medication for the cancer, and that it was possible that she might recover enough to start feeling better and eating on her own. So I decided to give it a try. I never really considered the chemo, as I know what it does to humans who understand why they feel that way, and wouldn't even consider the possiblility of putting my little girl thru that agony, with her not even understanding why she would feel that way!! So, I decided to bring her home, and feed her thru the tube, and give her the medication, and see what happened.
The first day, she did fairly well, and I was slightly encouraged. But, the second day, she started upchucking her food, and didn't want to be fed thru the tube. At one point, she went over to the food bowls and was sniffing around, so I thought maybe she would eat regular food. So I went out and bought some of her favorite food, canned 9-Lives, and brought it home, and opened up a can, and put it in front of her. She sat up, and sniffed at it, and it looked as though she wanted to eat, but did not have the strength to make the effort. Then the tube feedings were getting progressively more difficult, as she fought to get away, and kept moving her head to prevent me from putting the food in the tube. (I was supposed to be giving her like six feedings a day, and she wasn't even getting the full amount each time, much less the amount of times she was supposed to be eating. When she saw the food, she would try to take off and hide. If I just wanted to pet her, and there was no food in sight, she would sit with me for hours and purr so loud, you could hear her in the other room!! But every time I brought over the food, she would just look up at me with her big green eyes, and I would swear to this day that she was asking me to let her go. She looked soooo mournful, that everytime she looked at me like that, my heart would break all over again!! I began to believe then, and I still know in my heart now, that she was trying to tell me that she was in pain and uncomfortable, and although she loved me with all her heart, that it was time for her to go!! She was ready to make her journey to the Bridge, where she would be restored to health, to wait for me until we meet again.
So, the following morning, May 5th, we made our last trip to the vet. My guy, Sam, and I, bundled her up in one of our best and prettiest beach towels, and drove the short distance to the vet. We asked that she be cremated privately, so we could have her ashes to scatter, and have a little ceremony for her. Unfortunately, her bill at the vet's was over $1500, and we have to make payments, so can't get her ashes until the bill is paid in full, but when the debt is paid, at the suggestion of Sam, we will take her ashes to a beach called 'Natural Bridges' (how appropriate, huh??? Sam's an intelligent guy with a very big heart!!), and say our final good-byes to her!!
Morgan was a beautiful, playful, loving, sweet kitty, and we will all miss her every single day of our lives!! Although we love the other two with all our hearts, and will probably love other cats in the future, there will never, ever be another just like our Morgan!!

We love you and miss you, little girl!!
Have fun at the Rainbow Bridge until Mommy comes to get you,
my Little Angel!!

A wonderful furiend of ours,
Has created an amazing picture of Morgan!!!
Please click on the heart below
To see this beautiful picture
Of our little Fur Angel!!!
Thank you so furry much, Jessica!!!




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